This Life They See

I have not been in a good place lately. I hope to come out of it soon, but I am having a very hard time with everything right now. I wrote this "thing" to try and express my feelings. I don't know if it is a poem or whatever but who cares, it is what it is...

the thoughts were easy
the path always clear
always knowing
never any fear

things happen as they should
goals achieved one after the next
life seems so easy
live with no regrets

how could this happen?
how did I get here?
with no one to talk to
all full of fear

have I been asleep?
or living some other life?
i feel so alone
so helpless and lost

you don't know about a perfect life
it's what you think you want
then realize the knife
nowhere to go

someone has to suffer
does it always have to be me?
thoughts are so dark
feelings so cold

who would understand?
who really cares?

with life there are choices
some easy and some hard
there are people you love
and others that love you

they are not always the same
one of life's little tricks
to beat you down hard
to test your strength
and harden your heart

no one is immune
it's your choice indeed
to let life break you
or to hold strong and need
to conquer your mind
and overcome your fears

it's okay to be alone
sometimes in tears
for you are only human
and it comes down to this
even knowing what you want
is rarely what you need

others think its perfect
this life they see

if only they could know you
how your heart makes you suffer
it's something not seen

you put on a smile
and make them believe
its a perfect life
this life they see