Are you actually non-monogomous?

The Four Keys To A Happy Relationship

Let me share some information with you that I have learned.  As it turns out, in every relationship there are four key things that make it work.  The percentage of each will determine the level of success. 

Composition of a Relationship

For starters the two people need to be the best of friends.  They need to want to spend all the time they have together forever and ever.  That is probably one of the most solid pieces and can help weather deficiencies in other areas.  If you have an incredible sex life and you are both good parents but you can't get along with each other then it won't work.

Next, both people need to be a good spouse.  What I mean by this is that they have to be able to do those things that a couple has to do.  Fix the car, take out the garbage, do the dishes, clean the house, fix the fence, pay the bills, get groceries, etc.  If the other areas are solid but one or both of the people doesn't hold up their end on the spousal duties then there will be constant bickering and a sense that the person is not willing to do their part to make the relationship work.

The third point is parenting.  If both people have no interest in having children then this point doesn't matter as much.  However if children, or even pets are involved then both people have to be good parents.  If one is a terrible parent then the relationship will fail for sure.  To a parent the children are the most important thing in their lives.  

Finally the bedroom.  Even if you have 100% of all of the other three, a low score in the bedroom is going to have a serious impact on the relationship.  This could lead to constant fighting, cheating, misdirected anger, feelings of inadequacy, bruised ego, etc.  

If you are about to enter a long-term relationship or you are currently in one that is not working then you need to closely examine these four areas and see where the breakdown is.  This might be something that, once understood and out in the open, can be resolved.  Other times it cannot be resolved and the relationship will be destined to fail.  People are fighters and they can put up with things for a long time, however it will eventually fail and there will be a feeling of a loss of time and regret over it.  Why do some marriages go on for 10 to 15 to 20 years and then end?  Because people can put up with a lot before they are willing to make change.

Monogomy vs. Non-Monogomy

Further to the last item, the bedroom, there is one other key aspect about people that can make or break a solid relationship.

Turns out, people are one of two ways.  They are monogomous or non-monogomous.  Two monogomous people can live happily ever after if the other four aspects of the relationship are in tact.  Two non-monogomous people can also live happily ever after with the other four aspects at healthy levels, however they need to UNDERSTAND that they ARE non-monogomous.

Have you ever met someone and you fell in love with them such that no one else in the world even matters?  You hardly notice another attractive person around you other than for the eye-candy.  Your thoughts are consumed by the person you are in love with and you can't imagine being with anyone else.  If that is the case you are probably a Monogomous person.  You are content with getting married and probably having kids and living happily ever after just like the fairy tales you grew up with as a child.  

On the other hand if even after you fell deeply in love with someone you easily get bored of them, or you always notice other attractive people and have feelings about wanting to be around them and getting to know them.  You have many friends and actually NEED to be around them and feel their different energies in your life.  If this sounds like you then you are probably non-monogomous. 

Non-monogomous people feed on the different energies of others and could never be happy with just one person in their relationship.  Of course the way society brainwashes us to believing that everyone needs to find that special someone to marry and have kids and grow old together.  Even religion tells you that you have to be loyal and faithful to your partner for as long as you both shall live... and don't covet thy neighbor's wife for goodness sakes.

If you have a closed mind and up to this point you don't agree with me then you are already either a) monogomous or b) so brainwashed or afraid of what other people think that you might as well stop reading right here.  On the other hand if I am touching on a few points that are making you think, let me continue and put some more pieces together to help you grasp this. 

People, this is something profound here.  It is equivalent to being gay or straight.  You can be gay and lie to yourself for years, but eventually you will come out of the closet.  If you are non-monogomous you can lie to yourself for a long long time but eventually you will need to get out of that relationship.  If not, the likelyhood of cheating on your partner is very high.  Hopefully you can come up with another option, so keep reading...

It's NOT Always About Sex

Typically sex or that type of intimacy is a big part of a non-monogomous person's life, but it doesn't have to be.  It is more about the different energies that people have that you need to be complete.  One person may have a specific type of energy where they are strong and make you feel safe where as another person is vulnerable and needs you to protect them.  Another person may be an incredible amount of fun and you just laugh and smile the whole time you are around them.  Another may be so sexually attractive to you that you can't think of anything other than jumping their bones when you think about them.  Another may just be calm and centered and make you feel grounded and sane and at peace.  Some are aggressive and after being around them you are exhausted from being on the ball the entire time, but for some reason you need that so you keep them in your life.  Some people are fascinating and others are intelligent.  Some are wild and crazy and make you feel alive.  All these energies combined make you feel complete.  Make you whole and comfortable and at peace with the universe.  

That sounds wild, and you may wonder how the heck can that be possible.  How can one person be "allowed" to be with so many people and have it be accepted in society.  Well in my journey I have met a lot of different people with different lifestyles.  I am very open-mined and people open up to me and tell me their most intimate secrets.  I thoroughly enjoy the feeling of being trusted in that way and I definitely know what it is like to have someone you can be that open with.  It is probably one of the most significant relationships you will ever have in your life.  Anyways, non-monogomous people find ways of making things work.  Some of them become swingers, some get into adult entertainment, some together have relationships with other individuals or couples.  

The Farmer

When a non-monogomous person is in a monogomous relationship they are miserable.  If they do not understand their feelings and who they are, they flounder and have difficulty expressing themselves.  They feel anger and sadness and depression and as with anything they usually direct it towards their spouse.  After all, that is who is always there and inadvertently makes them feel trapped or tied down.   

A great friend recently said something to me that was so profound that I can't think of anything else now.  He said this...

Imagine that you and the people around you are starving to death and you have food in your two hands but not enough for everyone.  You can make the sacrifice and give the food to the others and then suffer yourself, but after they eat a little bit, they will be fine for a while and then ultimately starve again and you will be out of food or dead because you didn't eat yourself.  On the other hand, you can eat the food yourself and be nourished and get your strength back so you can go out and learn to become a farmer and grow food for everyone well into the future and even teach them to make food themselves.  Everyone benefits and there is ample food for everyone.  Makes sense right?  Now consider that the food in your hands is happiness.  If you are happy then the people around you can feed off of your happiness and be happy themselves.  If you are miserable then everyone around you will know that and will not want to be around you and it will make them unhappy too.

It is not worth it for one single moment to deliberately suffer and be unhappy.  Life is so short, why spend it unhappy.  If you hate your job and you are treated like crap then change it.  Get a new job where you are respected and enjoy going to work.  If you need to change your career then do it and if anyone disagrees with you, then that is their problem, not yours.  

The Non-Monogomous Couple

One of the most interesting non-monogomous relationships that I discovered is the trigger that guided me to write this post... 

A husband and wife were having an awkward relationship.  They cared very much for each other but he was non-monogomous and she was generally monogomous... or believed she was anyways.  He needed to experience the energies of other people but she did not.  Actually she kept up walls to keep people away and not let them get too close to her.  After trying all sorts of things over several years and having many fights and generally being unhappy,  they finally approached the concept of having an open relationship such that he could have other relationships, sexual or otherwise and so could she.  As it turns out, even though she is allowed she hasn't felt the need.  It wasn't the other energies that she needed it was his energy but with him being happy.  He let her know that she was beside him on his path through life and she always would be.  He goes out with other women and some of them he has intimate relationships with, but when he comes home he is happy, calm and affectionate like never before and this makes her very very happy.  It was hard for her to adjust to at first, but she went out herself and met lots of people and took some workshops on being open and letting other energies come in.  She has since discovered that she really likes women and wants to experiment more in that area.  Both of them spoke with me individually and they are incredibly happy and calm and at peace with themselves and the people around them.  I noticed the change in both of them and I am so honored that they were able to share with me.  

If you take anything from this post, please focus on your own happiness first and the happiness of others second.  Just like when you fly on an airplane they tell you that if the masks fall from the top to put yours on first before you help the others around you.  If you are unhappy then you will live a shorter life and miss out on all the wonderful things that life has to offer.  Don't let that happen to you.

To Happiness!

Cheers,

Al

Friends Eh?

Well for starters, this post was not triggered by any specific incident. Just a lot of things have been happening and I make observations and store them away in the back of my mind for later use. I am one of those people that is overly nice to everyone and I have a lot of "friends" and consequently I get walked all over a lot. The thing is that I don't want to change the way I am because every once in a while someone can come along and surprise me. There really are genuine people in this world, its just that they are hard to find.

I am finding more and more people out there seem to feel that they need to lie. I am not sure why because I am very open-minded and I accept people for who they are. If you don't have the greatest life in the world then change that. Don't just lie about it so people think you are so amazing. What you don't realize is that we can see right through you.

Myself, when I meet people I genuinely want to get to know them. I am fascinated by all the different things that people do in their lives, both the good and the bad. I think that everything that happens to us helps to shape us and make us who we are. Without these influences, we would be nothing. Hardships and difficulties either make us strong or beat us down and that all depends on how we manage our feelings. Some people are easily influenced by others and that can be a good thing if others are looking out for their best interests. If not, it can be very destructive and lead to a miserable life.

You may have heard that everything in the universe happens the way it is supposed to happen. I believe that very strongly. So many things in life don't seem to make sense at the time and then later on we realize that we are better off because of it. Maybe leading a healthy and happy life is simply a matter of embracing that fact and moving on. I know this has worked for me very well, and I try my best to not get hung up on a specific incident or person or event because I know things will go on as they should.

Back to the friend thing... I think most people can count on one hand how many true friendships they have in their life. These are the people that are there for you when you need them. They are not what I call "fair weather friends". The majority of friends are there when there is something in it for them, or when they are bored and have nothing better to do. Or worse, you happen to be influential in some way and they gain by being around you.

Anyways, this is sounding a little depressing, but that was not my intention. What I mean to say is that you need to keep your eyes open so that you can tell the difference between a fair weather friend and a true friend. The reason is that it is the true friends that you need to make sure you are a true friend back with.

I once told someone that they should take a look at every person in their life and ask themselves if that person adds value, or sucks life out of them. If they add value then great, but if they don't add value then get rid of them. One of the simplest keys to happiness is surrounding yourself with good people that make you happy. If you are spending energy on someone who does not make you happy then you need to be a little bit selfish and let them go. You need to realize that life is short and there is no point wasting precious moments with people that don't deserve your energy. Let them go out and find someone else who they can relate to and maybe they will realize what a true friend should be.

This Life They See

I have not been in a good place lately. I hope to come out of it soon, but I am having a very hard time with everything right now. I wrote this "thing" to try and express my feelings. I don't know if it is a poem or whatever but who cares, it is what it is...

the thoughts were easy
the path always clear
always knowing
never any fear

things happen as they should
goals achieved one after the next
life seems so easy
live with no regrets

how could this happen?
how did I get here?
with no one to talk to
all full of fear

have I been asleep?
or living some other life?
i feel so alone
so helpless and lost

you don't know about a perfect life
it's what you think you want
then realize the knife
nowhere to go

someone has to suffer
does it always have to be me?
thoughts are so dark
feelings so cold

who would understand?
who really cares?

with life there are choices
some easy and some hard
there are people you love
and others that love you

they are not always the same
one of life's little tricks
to beat you down hard
to test your strength
and harden your heart

no one is immune
it's your choice indeed
to let life break you
or to hold strong and need
to conquer your mind
and overcome your fears

it's okay to be alone
sometimes in tears
for you are only human
and it comes down to this
even knowing what you want
is rarely what you need

others think its perfect
this life they see

if only they could know you
how your heart makes you suffer
it's something not seen

you put on a smile
and make them believe
its a perfect life
this life they see

It's About Bloody Time Al

Well hey there people, I would apologize for not writing in my blog for so long, however stats say that no one ever reads this blog anyway. That's ok, I really don't care. So what the heck has happened since I last wrote? Well, a heck of a lot... I have taken my photography to a higher level and I am having so much fun with it. I have now specialized on Fine Art Nude photography and I think that I have some talent there. So many beautiful women want to work with me and I am so happy with how the photos are turning out. If anyone does read this and wants to check out my work, you can go to Aduro Photography Fine Art Nude Gallery and have a look. The images are in chronological order so if you want to see the newest stuff, go to the last page.

I have also been working pretty regularly on a podcast. It is for Photographers, Makeup Artists, and Models and it is called "I Am Aduro". You can check it out at http://podcast.aduro.ca. We just recorded episode 51 on Friday evening and every episode has turned out to be very informative and interesting. The feedback has been very positive so I have been very motivated to keep going. My co-host and the producer of the show is my photographer friend, Andrew Bolton. I think we are a good team.

Look forward to lots of exciting new things from me in the near future. I hope that I am not too busy so that I can blog about it regularly.

Cheers,
Al

For The Future - Life's Answers Contained In a Science Fiction TV Series.

I just love science fiction. One of my all time favorite series is Babylon 5 created by J. Michael Straczynski. I remember way back in 1994 when the show first aired. My soon-to-be wife and I began watching and although the sets and some of the acting were a little "low budget", the computer generated special effects were way ahead of their time. I remember thinking YES! finally a science fiction show that had realistic flight characteristics in the space ships. Something that always really bothered me about Star Wars and Star Trek. Except for some of the more advanced races of aliens, the humans even needed to have rotating sections of their ships and space stations to maintain artificial gravity. Now I am not physicist, but it was way more believable that most of the other stuff I had seen in the past. At least Straczynski gave it some thought. Oh and the design of the Star Fury fighter craft was outstanding. I have a scale model that I built a long time ago and it still sits in my office. One of "MY THINGS" that the kids are not allowed to touch. Much later in the the fourth season of the show they introduced the "White Star" ships that were built by the Mimbari with some Vorlon technology. By far the coolest ships out of any science fiction show ever.

Anyways, this post is not about space ships. It is about the show in general that had such an intricate story line and characters that fans who watched every episode felt like they were a part of it. As you watched each episode, you could see a mirror into reality. The show dealt with religion, poverty, corruption, racism, death, love, and compassion. It showed how love and friendship can stand over anything that challenged it. It made you realize that humans squabble and fight over the most petty little things. How literally stupid we must look to an outsider when we complain and cry about the things that don't really matter. How precious life really is and how short it can be. In the second last episode of the final season of the show, President John Sheridan wakes up in the middle of the night thinking about his own mortality. He decides to record a message to his un-born son to be played back to him on his 21st birthday. If you had seen the series you would know that John Sheridan only had 19 more years to live, so he would never see his son's 21st birthday.

This speech moved me to tears and it touches so many points about life and the way things are and the way things need to be. I don't know for sure if Straczynski wrote this himself, or if it was another writer, but one day I would love to find out and shake the hand of that person. By the way, Sheridan's wife's name is Delenn.

Londo's visit got me thinking about the day my child comes of age. On Earth, that's 21. If Lorien's prediction holds, I only have 19 years left. I won't be there to see you come into your own. Whoever you are, Whoever you will be. Not that either of those things matter. Because site unseen, I know that I will love you because you are my child, and the child of the woman I love more than life itself. I will give you that love, as best I can, for as long as I'm here. But a day like this, your 21st birthday, requires something more. So, I give you what little wisdom I have.

Delenn is the greatest ally you will ever have. Her depths of courage and compassion are unmatched in my experience. Look to her for wisdom and fire in equal measure, and if you ever have any doubt, talk to her. She will never judge you, she will only love you. From time to time, you will make mistakes, there inevitable. Sometimes those mistakes will be huge. What matters is that you learn from them. There's nothing wrong with falling down as long as you end up just two inches taller when you pick yourself up off the floor. At times you may end up far away from home. You may not be sure of where you belong anymore, but home is always there. Because home is not a place, its wherever your passion takes you. As you continue on your path, you will lose some friends and gain new ones. The process is painful, but often necessary. They will change, and you will change because life is change. From time to time they must find their own way and that way may not be yours. Enjoy them for what they are, and remember them for what they were. There's not much left, except I believe, I really do believe that sooner or later no matter what happens, things do work out. We have hard times, we suffer, we lose loved ones, the road is never easy. It was never meant to be easy, but in the long run if you stay true to what you believe, things do work out. Always be willing to fight for what you believe in. It doesn't matter if a thousand people agree with you, or one person agrees with you. It doesn't matter if you stand completely alone. Fight for what you believe. Which brings me to the first piece of advice my dad ever gave me and now I am giving it to you.

Never start a fight, but always finish it.

My wife and I have two boys, one is 6 and the other is 7. I own a box set of the Babylon 5 series and one evening I decided that we should watch it with the kids. We started, and nearly every night we watched at least one episode. My kids really got into the show and it was wonderful family time for us that I looked forward to every night. Earlier tonight we watched the final two episodes and that is why I am creating this post. I am still moved by the show and my kids want to watch some of the spin-off series including Crusades that I also have on DVD. As well there are some two-hour made-for-tv movies that Straczynski made throughout the 5 years of the show. If you ever have the opportunity to pick up the full five seasons of Babylon 5 (they have them at Costco now) make sure you do it. Watch them with your family from beginning to end. This is a very intricate story that must be seen. So many good morals and life lessons to be learned.

There are a lot of amazing stories that have been created in the world, but I think you will find that Babylon 5 was right up there as one of the best.

That was a short chapter

It has been almost a week now since I got lay'd off. The first job I have ever lost in my entire life. It was very quick and clean, the way things should be. I didn't screw up or anything, they just decided that we were going down a different road than they intended when they hired me. Besides, I was expensive and they needed to keep things tight and lean. Although I was taken by surprise, it barely phased me. I was not happy there anyways.

The truth is that I am an entrepreneur at heart and working for someone else is just not my thing. This is the universe telling me to give my head a shake and stop expecting someone else to look after me. After all, I have been looking after myself for most of my life and I just need to get off my ass and grab the bull by the horns and whatever other metaphor you can think of for getting it done myself.

With that short chapter closed now, I find myself realizing where I belong and what I need to do. I am much happier now than I have been in a very long time. I am back at the helm of my own destiny and each decision I make and every path I take is up to me. The way it should be.

I currently have numerous exciting things on the go. I have a successful photography business, not to mention my "day job" as President & CEO of a software company. On top of that I have a podcast with a significant and quickly growing fan base and I am about to start another podcast very soon. I have a wonderful family with two amazing kids, and so many incredible friends that I adore.

Yup, sometimes you just need a kick in the ass to open up your eyes and see what is right in front of you. My advice to anyone reading this is to listen carefully to these words by Joseph Campbel. He once said "Follow your bliss, and invisible hands will guide you." Words to live by for sure.

Yet Another New Chapter In My Life

My life has, so far, been a simple one from my perspective. I pretty much fly along whatever path life takes while making minor course corrections as I go and think it is necessary. It’s kind of funny because I often go through life like I am having one long 39-year out-of-body experience. I see things happening as though I am watching them happen to someone else. I have always lead my life as honest and kind to others as I could be. Not because I am religious, I am far from that, but because it just feels right.

Unfortunately I get taken advantage of a lot and that is too bad. I don’t lie to people because, first of all it’s not fair, and also because I have a crappy memory and I don’t want to waste my brain cells trying to remember what I said to whom. It is much easier just to tell the truth all the time and not worry about it. That said, I am not going to say things that will hurt other people. Sometimes you can leave out details and let people jump to their own conclusions without actually having to say anything.

That is another thing, I listen a lot. Some people talk WAY too much. It’s like they just want to hear themselves talk. I can’t even count the number of times I almost said something and decided not to and it turned out that I was very glad I kept my mouth shut.

In business I have found that being a good listener is one of the most valuable traits you could ever have. I sit in meetings all the time where two people are talking and they are both saying the exact same thing but arguing right and left about it because they don’t listen to what each other is saying.

Anyways, I’m rambling on but the point is that things just happen to me. It’s like the laws of attraction operate in my favor because I generally always have positive energy. Take work, which is basically the main topic of this post. When I was going to college I was working with my dad in construction during the summer and with a computer store during the winter. I put myself through college, books, tuition, everything. It was hard, and it took a long time to pay back the student loans, but I did it. When I got out of college and started the other half of my university transfer program at U of C, I was literally out of money and starving. I was only able to get about a year and a half into my two year program before I had to get a “real job” and neglect to finish my degree.

My first IT job was at a computer store as a technician. It came naturally to me and I enjoyed working with computers and dealing with the public. After a few months I was promoted to “Saturday Manager” which didn’t sit will with some of the other people that were there for a lot longer than me. Still, I took on the responsibility with gusto and did a very good job of it. When I had any spare time I was cleaning up the place and organizing things so we could be more efficient. Well all good things must come to an end and we found out that we were going to be bought out by a big US company.

As that boat started shaking I got a call from a college buddy that was working for a small software company downtown. They needed a new system administrator and thought I might be interested. Naturally I took the job right away and moved on to the next chapter of my life while the computer store went out of business (the buyout never happened). The new job was not too bad and they had a pretty relaxed environment. Although the pay wasn’t that great there was a lot of room for advancement. Within a year I was talking to my boss letting him know that being a sysadmin was not my main goal in life and that I wanted to take advantage of my education and get into programming. I got the speech about how they don’t pigeon hole people and that as long as I could find someone to fill my position they would be glad to have another good developer on staff.

As my eight and a half year career with the company went on, I quickly grew. People above me left and I climbed up the ranks to where I was doing project management, business analysis and technical sales support with my good friend and co-worker, Bill, who just so happened to be the guy that originally hired me at the computer store when I was going to college. I ended up suggesting to my boss that we hire him when the computer store went under.

My best friend since grade three, Chris, also joined our company after some nagging from me for a couple years. The three of us were an awesome team and we got a lot of work into the company. Again, things don’t last forever and one of the partners that owned the company got cancer and passed away. The remaining partner in the company, my boss, had a lot of legal crap to deal with and the boat started shaking pretty good. Work began to dry up too and we had to let a lot of good people go. That is when I got this crazy idea to start my own software company.

After a lot more nagging I convinced Chris to join me and we started our own software company. It was awesome, we worked hard, treated our clients with respect and did a good job. The company grew over 6 years to 17 people including Chris and I. We were getting a lot of work, but we were not charging enough and our capital and operational costs were way too high. With a tearful goodbye we were forced to close the office, sell off everything and let all our employees go. We were originally going to file for bankruptcy but found out that is more expensive than just paying the debt ourselves. That and I also believe that when you make your bed you need to sleep in it. We got into this mess ourselves and it is our responsibility to get out of it ourselves.

So began another chapter in my life. Down to just the two of us, I raised our rates up to where they should be and we both got a decent amount of work contracting. I was working for the Airport on a contract doing Project Management work and it was really a great job. I got along with everyone and enjoyed all the interesting technology I was involved with. Yet again, it didn’t last. The amount of work they had for me got very slim and due to some major construction projects over the next 10 – 20 years and the recession they were trimming budgets right and left. Turns out I would probably have nothing much to do for the rest of this year and very little if anything next year. With a house and a young family to support, panic was setting in. I had resumes out everywhere and went to a couple interviews, but nothing much came out of it. That is, until one of the vendors that we dealt with at the airport invited me for lunch.

This is getting to be a very long story, but anyway he offered me an incredible opportunity in his company as a Senior Business Analyst. I just finished my first week there and so far I am very impressed. This, I think will be one of the most exciting chapters in my work life. The company produces a Geographic Information System (think Google Maps, but for both outside and inside buildings). Something I am very interested in, and I look forward to learning a lot more about.

For those who are wondering, the software company we started is still fully operational but my time and effort towards the company is much more limited than it was.

Technorati Tags: Enlightenment,Focus,Positive Thinking,Technology,The Secret,Law Of Attraction

The Priceless Value of a Photograph

Here is something that we have all heard before in some form or another, but I feel is important to be reminded of on a regular basis.

I was recently reminded by a good friend’s post on Facebook regarding his grandmother, about how priceless a photograph is.  He posted a series of photographs from when his grandmother was younger.  As I looked through the images I thought to myself how many memories would be completely forgotten if people had not taken pictures.

The first photograph was taken by Joseph Nicéphore Niépce titled “View from the Window at Le Gras”. Since then things have changed, technology has advanced and millions and millions of pictures have been taken.  There are many moments in history that were captured in photographs.  Families all over the world clicked away and took pictures of themselves, their children and families as they grew and experienced life.  Photojournalists took pictures of famous events, politicians, wars, celebrities, celebrations, sports, and local news events.  Without those pictures the only historical records we would have are what people wrote.  Obviously you can’t always trust what people write and the visual reference of a photograph makes a big difference… that is until the invention of Adobe Photoshop. 

Motivated to write this post, I decided to go through some of my own old photographs.  I was just going to grab one or two old shots to stick in this post and the coolest thing happened.  My two young boys (5 and 6) came in to see what I was doing.  They started looking at the old pictures with me and it was really cute.  My oldest son, Tony, saw a picture of me when I had long hair, glasses and a moustache and he said “who is that?”  I laughed and said it was daddy when I was younger.  He gave me a strange look and said “you look like a bad Elvis!”.  My wife and I laughed so hard we were crying.

I hope you all go out and take lots and lots of pictures.  They don’t necessarily have to be good pictures, but capture those moments, those places, those people.  It is so important for the future, for yourself and for your family and those that follow years and years down the road.

Technorati Tags: Artistic Expression,Blogging,Calgary,Creativity,Photography

Schools Kill Creativity

I was at work today and none of my usual friends/co-workers were available for lunch so I decided to sit in my office with the headphones on and watch one of the TED talks on my laptop. 

If you haven’t heard of TED before you are seriously missing out on some incredible conferences on Technology, Entertainment, and Design.  You can read more about TED on their website, but here is a quick quote from their site…

TED is a small nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. Since then its scope has become ever broader. Along with the annual TED Conference in Long Beach, California, and the TEDGlobal conference in Oxford UK, TED includes the award-winning TEDTalks video site, the Open Translation Program, the new TEDx community program, this year's TEDIndia Conference and the annual TED Prize.

The main reason for this post is the fact that the particular talk that I listened to today was by Sir Ken Robinson who is a creativity expert and led the British government's 1998 advisory committee on creative and cultural education.  He was even knighted in 2003 for his achievements.  There is more about him on the TED website, but his talk titled “Schools Kill Creativity” was really amazing.  He is an excellent speaker, very intelligent and an extremely funny man with his dry British sense of humor.

This particular talk by Sir Robinson brings to light some very interesting ideas in that education throughout the years teaches people to focus on only the left side of their brain under the common misconception that you can never get a good job or make any real money unless you get a degree or even better a master’s degree or a PHD.  Think about it, the way it works out is that the “A” students end up teaching the “B” students to work for “C” students.  Your laughing right now aren’t you, because it is so true.  I hope you can spare the time to listen to the entire talk as people really need to open their eyes and change the way they look at education.  Without creativity we can’t solve the world’s most complex problems.  We have all heard the term “Thinking outside of the box”, and really what that means is to use some creativity to solve the problem.

Technorati Tags: TED,Art,Digital,Enlightenment,Positive Thinking,Technology,Creativity,Design

Ring Tones

I just upgraded my Nero software for burning CDs and DVDs and it came with a bonus program called Mediashop RingPlus 3.0. Not a program I would have actually purchased, but since I got it for free I tried it out.

I have always wanted to have the closing theme from my favorite podcast TWiT as my ringtone and now I do...

Unbelievable Dining at a Fair Price

Today I had the pleasure of dining at a relatively obscure restaurant in Calgary called “Avocado Restaurant and Lounge” with President & Co-Founder Troy Miller.

This family owned restaurant markets itself as Urban – Mexican and is a very unique concept in Calgary.  Troy told me his story about how he started out at age 24 with a Wendy’s fast food restaurant.  By the time he got tired of the fast food thing he and his brother owned four Wendy’s restaurants.  They wanted to get out of fast food, but they were not interested in moving into the upscale Earls and Joey Tomatoes market.  The way Troy describes his concept is a nice sit-down restaurant with fast food service.  A great place for lunch, you can be in and out in 30 minutes. 

He and his brother came up with all the recipes themselves after traveling around Mexico tasting different Mexican style food.  They were unable to find anything that quite fit in with what they wanted to serve at their new restaurant so they came up with their own unique dishes and incredible flavors.  There is nothing at Avocado that is bland, everything on the menu is a mouth full of flavors that leaves you feeling satisfied.  The portions are generous and the number of items on the menu is just right to provide variety, yet not leave you with too many decisions.  I had the “Ranchero Fajita Burrito” with a tossed salad and the restaurants own avocado dressing.  All the food is made fresh and it was wonderful.  With the first bite my mouth was watering and looking forward to the next.

The decor I would describe as modern with a South American flair.  While I was there they were playing the movie “The Three Amigos” with Steve Martin being projected on the white wall above the bar.

The current location that has been open for four years is just across from IKEA on Heritage Meadows Way S.E.  Troy is very busy right now with the planning and construction for three other locations including the soon to open 17th avenue location.

If your in the mood for something a little different to spice up your life then I highly recommend you dine at Avocado.

 

Technorati Tags: Avocado,Restaurant,Food,Mexican,Calgary

Podcasting for a better life

I am so addicted to podcasts!  I have been listening to a few different ones for a while now, mostly to do with technology and photography.  I can't believe the high quality productions that are available, all for free.  I really enjoy several of the shows put out by "the president of the Internet" Leo Laporte:

• TWiT (This Week in Technology)
• The Daily Giz Wiz
• TWig (This Week in Google)

Other shows I really like include:

• TWiP (This Week in Photography)
• The Candid Frame
• Photofocus
• Cranky Geeks with John C. Dvorak

All of them are available on iTunes, and they all have corresponding websites where you can get show notes and links to things they have discussed. 

Honestly, you won't even believe how many different podcasts are available on pretty much any topic you can think of.  I found one for learning to speak Spanish (SpanishPod), and even some on Project Management (PM Podcast & Controlling Chaos). 

I think the best thing about podcasting is the freedom to publish anything yourself.   All you need is a good microphone and something to talk about.  Look forward to my upcoming podcast.  I can't provide any details yet, but I hope it will be interesting and educational.

Posted via email from The Posterous World According To Al

Pain in the SPAM

I am getting so sick and tired of spam... If you open spam messages to read them or worse, you actually buy stuff that is advertised is spam messages then please punch yourself right in the face for me.  

Thanks,
Al

Posted via email from The Posterous World According To Al

Model shoot at Rat’s Nest Cave in Canmore, Alberta

This past Sunday (June 29th), I had the most amazing experience as a photographer.  My friend Paul Spenard organized a model portfolio shoot inside a real cave called “Rat’s Nest Cave” in Canmore, Alberta.  The brave and talented model that Paul managed to convince was the lovely Tabitha Alice, and she was amazing.

Just to set the scene, you arrive in Canmore and meet with the folks from Canmore Caverns who are the only group that literally have the keys and the permission to take people inside the cave.  There is a huge steel grate covering the only entrance into the cave and it is locked behind you as you enter to prevent people from coming in behind you.  They are very strict about safety and you feel very comfortable under their care.

You follow the guide in your vehicle as they drive up to the cave site, which is about a 20 minute hike up a mountain.  Some of the most beautiful scenery too which made the long hike carrying all my heavy camera gear a little bit more bearable.

When you arrive at the cave site, you suit up in coveralls, knee pads, safety harness, and a helmet.  Then you are briefed on what you are about to endure.  Apparently many people chicken out at this point, but the three of us were eager to get started.   Once inside the grate, the best way to describe the next few minutes is that you do not want to be there if your claustrophobic!   I had to pass my camera bag down through the passage that was just a bit larger than my body as I made my way down.  There are a lot of animal bones inside the cave that are moved around by the rats (yes, I said rats) as they make their nests (hence the name of the cave).  We did not see any rats while we were there, but there was the odd patch of rat droppings that were actually quite a bit larger than I expected.  I must say, it was cool to have Paul with us as he is an archeologist and was explaining what each bone was and from which animal it came from.  

We continued down through the cave headed for an open cavern called “The Grotto”.  This was supposed to be the most spectacular area of the cave and it did not disappoint.  There were formations nearly everywhere including these crystal looking things on the ceiling that look like soda straws.  Other formations look like pigs ears and bacon, which are apparently their names, so not too hard to remember.

This was, by far, the most difficult lighting situation I have ever been in.  Basically we were in the darkest place on earth.  Just for fun our guide, Adam Walker, told to turn off our lights to which we basically saw NOTHING.  He said to go ahead and close our eyes to see if there was a difference, and there wasn’t.  So if you are a photographer and you have experience working in low light situations, I challenge you to get a good shot here!!!  Especially when you are limited to what your allowed to bring in (basically two small bags per group).  I brought a Nikon SB800 and a Nikon SB900 plus a few LED lights to just give us a bit of ambient to work with.  To make the situation worse, the place had about 100% humidity and a very very very fine dust that gets into everything.  I dared NOT change lenses, so I just went with what was on my camera (Nikon D300 with an 18-70mm DX lens).

Tabitha had a couple different outfits to work with.  The first one was a nice white and pink dress that I think worked well.  The second outfit was a custom made “cave girl” animal skin.  Oh, did I mention the temperature in the damp dark cave was 4 degrees Celsius?  Yes, Tabitha is an amazing girl.  She was determined to get the shots even though she was standing in a very cold, dark cave in freezing cold water with bare feet and a barely there outfit. 

Regardless I think we got some amazing shots considering what we had to work with in those conditions.  All the LED lights I brought along with the lights on our helmets came in really handy when Tabitha wanted to do a shot that made her look like a ghost.  We lit the place up with every light we had (excluding the flashes) and then with a 15 second shutter I had Tabitha stand perfectly still and then after a few seconds run out of the way to finish the exposure.  I think the shot turned out exactly like she envisioned and it is quite cool.

After we got to the point where Tabitha was completely freezing and could not take it any longer (what a trooper), we packed up and headed back out.  Half-way out Adam asked if we wanted to attempt “The Test”.  Not wanting to be a chicken and miss an unforgettable experience we all agreed.  This test involved shuffling along through an opening for about 12-15 feet that was barely large enough for our body to fit through.  You had to have one arm ahead of you and one behind you and you couldn’t really lift your head to see where you were going.  Eventually after a lot of grunting and squeezing it opened up into a vertical fissure that you could stand up in, but not much else.  Of course, that wasn’t bad enough, but now you had to go back out the same way you came in.  We all made it and gave each other high fives, proud of our accomplishment.  By then Tabitha was starting to thaw out a bit, so the hard work was good to get her blood flowing.

By the time we got back up to the mouth of the cave and climbed out we were all completed exhausted and sweating like crazy.  It was a beautiful sunny warm day, and we had to hike all the way back down to the vehicles.  Thankfully I had a cooler with some water on ice in the back of my truck.  That was the best water I have ever had in my entire life.

All in all it was an amazing experience and I would do it again in a second.  I think next time though, I would like to leave most of my gear behind and just enjoy the adventure without having to do a photo shoot.  The cave is extremely large with numerous passages that you can explore if your not hauling a lot of gear with you.  There are areas that you can rappel down and a long tube called “The Laundry Shute” that sound like it would be a challenge.  If your not claustrophobic and you are looking for an incredible adventure I recommend you contact:

Canmore Caverns (403) 678-8819 or 1-877-317-1178

Technorati Tags: cave,model,photography,canmore,alberta,rat's nest cave,aduro photography

A Kick Butt Personal Video Recorder (PVR)

Well I have been using my own home grown PVR for a number of years now to record TV shows.  You see, I just don’t have time to sit down and watch TV and I have no patience for the frequent repetition of commercials during my favorite shows.  Really, what are they thinking when they have the same commercial play 15 times during an episode of LOST?  I wasn’t considering buying your crap anyways, and now that you pissed me off by showing me your lame commercial over and over a hundred times, the chances of anyone I know buying your product are very slim if I have my way.

Anyways, enough of my rant.  I have found the PERFECT solution that blows away anything that I have seen out there yet.  It is so simple and relatively inexpensive, it will blow you away.

First, you can buy a computer case from Antec that matches your stereo equipment, and doesn’t even look like a computer case. 

Next, make sure you get a decent motherboard.  It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but it should be fairly new so you can support the new fangled video cards on the market.

One thing that I learned a couple days ago was that if you get a combination TV Tuner Card / Video card then things can get a bit funky when you are trying to watch a recorded show while recording another show.  In all fairness, there might have been something weird with one of my previous incarnations of this system, but now that I have a TV Tuner card and a separate video card everything is working AMAZINGLY well.

One of the most important things to look for in the video card is an HDMI connector with both video and audio output (see the little black slot in the middle of the video card I linked above).  This gives you an incredibly sharp and clean signal to your big screen TV.

Now, the most important part of the system!!!  Don’t even think about going with Microsoft’s media centre operating system.  Just install Windows XP and purchase Snapstream Media’s Beyond TV software.  This product is by far the most amazing TV recording software on the market.  Gone are the days where you try and figure out what channel to record on and for how long.  Then what happens if your favorite show is pushed out because of a baseball game or some news broadcast.  With Beyond TV you can search for a program you want to record by keywords or by title.  Then when you find what you want to record, you can tell it to record:

• Just one episode
• Just NEW episodes
• All episodes

Even better, you can tell it to record your show on a specific channel, or to record the show from ANY channel.  If your show is pushed off for a sports program, don’t worry, Beyond TV will catch it when it comes on.  It also has the ability to record on a specific channel at a specific time if your into doing it the old fashioned way.

Sounds awesome doesn’t it… well wait… hold onto your hat because it gets better.  You can record shows in many different formats and even auto compress them for download to your iPod.  In addition to that you can burn a DVD directly from Beyond TV if you have a DVD burner in your PC.  That’s not all… one of my favorite features is a sister product called Beyond TV Link which allows you to connect and control Beyond TV from any computer on your home network.  You can even watch recorded shows or Live TV from any computer in your house that has Beyond TV Link installed.  Pretty freakin cool eh?

Well I hope that provides you enough information and inspiration to go out there and set up your own PVR.  I can tell you that once you have tried it, you will never go back to just sitting down in front of the boob tube again.  Now your TV watching has meaning and purpose.  Oh… and did I not mention that Beyond TV has a feature called Smart Skip that automatically finds the commercials so you don’t have to watch them anymore?  Ah yes, this is true paradise!

Technorati Tags: HD TV,Hauppage,Sapphire Radeon HD 4550,Beyond TV,Tuner,Computer,DIY

Very very very very Impressive Technology

As a web developer myself, I find it a little awkward to be recommending Square Space to people because it pretty much puts me out of work for basic website development projects.  Luckily if the client needs a web-based application they still have to come to people like me to design from the ground up. 

Customizable

Square Space is an amazing technology that provides a very intuitive and incredibly flexible user interface for building web sites.  It has templates that are almost infinitely customizable, and easy too, with no coding at all.  It makes full use of CSS so if you want to get your hands dirty, you can really change things around.  If you don’t know CSS that is no problem because there are easy-to-use interfaces to allow you to pick colors and size columns, and change various aspects of the look, layout and feel of the site.

Modularity

If you want a forum, or a photo gallery, or a blog, you just create a new page and specify the type from the exhaustive list of options.  A few clicks of your mouse and you have a fully functional web form that you can use to request information from your site visitors.  A file storage component lets you easily upload and maintain a file structure that you can share through an authenticated user interface. Detailed analytics allow you to monitor site traffic and other details about your visitors.

Scalability

The grid-based architecture behind the scenes ensures that your site can handle ANY traffic load from 1 visitor to millions of visitors a day.  All with no headaches for you.

In my humble opinion, this solution is the only solution for people who want to put up a very professional, feature-rich web presence without investing a lot of time or money.  It is powerful, flexible, and very affordable.  Damn, I wish I was getting paid for this, but in reality I am just so impressed I had to tell everyone.

Technorati Tags: web,hosting,development,css,style sheets,websites,blogging,forums,gallery

Only Intelligent Life in the Universe? Ya, right…

First off, let me say these images are not mine, I got them in an email from a good friend.  If the images are yours, or you know who created them, please let me know so I can give them credit.

These, as you know, are the planets of our solar system, in perspective of relative size…

Beyond our sun it’s a big universe…

 

Antares is the 15th brightest star in the sky.  It is more than 1000 light years away.

 

This is a Hubble Telescope ultra deep field infrared view of countless “entire” galaxies that are billions of light-years away.

This is a close-up of one of the darkest regions of the photo above.

Still think that we are the only intelligent life in the universe?

As you can see we are pretty tiny specs in the big picture, so there is not much point in sweating the small stuff.  Be happy and remember, the universe has it all figured out already.

Technorati Tags: Earth,Venus,Mars,Mercury,Pluto,Jupiter,Saturn,Uranus,Neptune,Sun,Sirius,Pollux,Arcturus,Betelgeuse,Antares,Rigel,Alderbaran,Universe,Intelligent Life

Microsoft Online Services

I was at a Microsoft seminar today titled “EnergizeIT” at Hotel Arts.  What a nice Hotel that is, I need to do a photo shoot there one day. 

Anyways, the seminar was actually pretty good.  I like the concept of Microsoft Online Services, which launched today apparently.  This allows small businesses to have access to Microsoft Business Productivity Online Standard Suite for $20/user per month.  That gives you Exchange Online, SharePoint Online, Office Live Meeting and coming soon, Office Communications Online.

I guess this is Microsoft’s answer to Google Apps that has already been in the market for some time.  I use both GMail and MS Exchange/Outlook for email and I like them both, but I use Exchange for business and I like how my iPhone integrates with it so nicely.

Another technology that will be coming down the pipe from Microsoft is Microsoft Azure.  This is a pretty mind-blowing concept for a software developer like  me.  It is Cloud Computing in the most elegant sense of the words and will really change how businesses host web applications and manage scalability.  Worth some research if you have the time.

Mac & Rob : The RAW Files

A photographer friend of mine (Rob Caleffi), and coincidentally the guy that got me into shooting artistic nudes, and his friend (Mac Swift) have been working over the past two years on a very creative project called "The RAW Files".

For starters, both Rob and Mac are amazing photographers. Photographers in general are visual artists, and the good ones have a burning inside their souls that forces them to express themselves. It is not good enough to be a great wedding or portrait photographer, the freedom of expression is too confined that way. Sure you can be creative and original, but you can only go so far because you are still working for the client. True artistic expression has no boundaries, and it can lead to some amazing creativity.

Rob and Mac have found a way to express their creativity by taking one model each and shooting their model over a period of one year at all sorts of different locations. The best part of this project is that the photographers and the models all blog about their experiences. It is a fascinating project and you will find yourself captivated by the words and the images that are presented. I encourage you to have an open mind and visit The RAW Files.